Sneak Away Causes Gassy Wedding

Sent in By Jim F. of Branson, Mo.


My future wife, Janie, and I were looking forward to our Saturday evening wedding at The Plantation House in Jackson, Mississippi. So, in anticipation of the event, we decided to sneak away to one of the local Mexican Restaurants for some lunch to talk about our honeymoon plans and decompress from some of the stress that comes with such occasions.


Since the quantity of food served at this eatery is so huge, we decided to split a huge beef and bean burrito. It was very tasty, but took us most of an hour to finish it off.


An hour later, we returned to our wedding preparations. I went to my brother’s house; Janie to her sister’s house.


Three hours after that, I was standing at the end of the isle, in front of the Preacher waiting for Janie to walk down the isle escorted by her dad.


As I was standing there, I began to feel pressure in my belly. I knew from this familiar feeling that a crisis was developing.


As I stood there wondering how long it would be before Janie came down the isle, a strong bubble of pressure tried to escape, but I clamped down hard, squeezing as hard as I could.


I could tell the Preacher noticed I was looking uneasy because he looked at me inquisitively.


I scowled; concentrating on avoiding any loud noises, and finally decided to try decompressing slowly and silently.


About this time, the organ started playing the-bride’s-coming-music, so I was relieved thinking I had a better chance of letting one loose without incident. So, I tried to time it just right. The music played, “Here comes the bride, here comes the bride”, I slowly started to let off pressure.. And it felt so good to relax that I actually relaxed too much; too fast.


Apparently, Janie was doing the same thing. Almost in unison we both let loose with a long-loud sound that might be spelled something like, “SSSSAAAARRRBARPAPARRRGH!


There was an audible gasp from the guests, and the bride music slowed (almost to a stop) before it picked up again. I looked back at Janie, thinking of that burrito and busted out laughing. By then, she was laughing too, along with everyone else who soon joined in.

Broke Leg Wedding

Ryan from Del valle, Texas sent this story in:


My wife-to-be and I decided to be married in the treehouse where we used to play as kids.


We felt it would be romantic if Suzanne, myself, and the preacher stood on it’s balcony as the guests watched from below.


The problem arose when, prior to the wedding, I drove out to my parents house to inspect the tree house and get it ready for the ceremony.


To make a long story short, I was standing on the balcony when it collapsed.


Down I went. When I landed, I had a broken shin bone.


The result: instead of a romantic wedding and honeymoon, I got married supported by crutches and a honeymooned in Aspen where I couldn’t ski.


The funniest part of being in Aspen in that condition was the puzzled looks I got. Those looks said, “Why would anyone come here with a broken leg?”

Meeting at Niagara Falls

Sent in by Joyce L. of Buffalo, NY

I was working for a Hotel near Niagara Falls, NY when I met my soon-to-be-husband Tom.


Tom, a businessman from Milwaukee, was lodging for the night before going back home the following day.


While working, I often stopped what I was doing to admire the majestic falls by Stupidly, standing on the bottom railing, with the top railing at my thighs, leaning my torso way out over the several hundred foot drop.


One evening when I did this, my shoe slipped and I would have tumbled over the railing if not for Tom. As I lurched forward, I felt his strong hands clasp my flailing leg.


When I turned around, my heart was pounding out of my chest, but I couldn’t tell if it was because of my near fall, or if it was because of the man standing in front of me.


My heart stopped palpitating though when he said, “that was stupid.”


I gave him a nervous giggle. At that moment that’s all I could muster.


But, in short order, we began to talk, and one thing led to another, and the following weekend we got married.


We got married at a park overlooking the falls where we met. That was 20 years ago.


Oh, the falls were beautiful that day.

A Wedding Story

This story is narrated by the couple. I can't beleive he set his leg on fire! And he made her laugh!

Thriller Wedding Dance is Pretty Darn Good

Wedding Ring Settings - Educational Video

Learn about the jewel settings in wedding rings. Pretty informative stuff. Which setting style do you like?

Canyon Mule Wedding

Tom Burges of Rome, NY sent this in:

My wife and I were married on mules. That’s right! We went to the Grand Canyon, and rode pack mules to the canyon floor where we got married.

It was funny because when the preacher said kiss the bride, I fell off my ass, onto my ass. I ended up with a nasty bruise on my backside.

Prior to being married, Judy and I decided it would be nice if we were married at the honeymoon location.

It worked out great! We both felt like we made the most of our time off from work.

World's Worst Wedding Dresses - Video

Some of these are really funny.  I found this and just had to share it!

Skydiver Wedding

Tom Argile of Clay Park, Georgia sent in this story and a picture

I was watching the bride and groom tie the knot when I noticed a skydiver floating to Earth in the distance.

As the Preacher said, “You may kiss the bride.” all the seated guests were watching as the skydiver’s parachute became entangled in some power lines.

They guy was hanging there with his arms flailing about.

The groom, I didn’t know then, used to be an airborne ranger in the army. Tux and all, I saw him jump into action. I don’t think I ever saw a guy move that fast.

He quickly kissed his bride and took off running. He moved like lightening. Within 45 seconds he was beneath the skydiver. “Are you okay?” he yelled. The diver said he was but couldn’t reach his chute releases. The groom reached into his pocket and produced a knife. He yelled, “Catch!” as he tossed the knife.

A few moments later the skydiver was sawing at the chute straps.

The skydiver looked down tentatively before sawing the last strap.

The groom yelled, “I’ll break your fall!” And the diver fell.

And the groom broke his fall.

The groom invited the skydiver to the reception, and I (the photographer) got some good pictures.

Beautiful Bridal Gang

The Bridal Gang

Everyone knows that, as a bride, you have a kind of Bridal gang; a group of your closest female friends and relatives. Who fuss over you for almost the entire wedding day. Well, let me tell you about mine.

I had 2 flower girls: Kim and Daphne.

Kim, the 6 year old daughter of my Sister, has Down ’s syndrome. She is the cutest little girl I have ever seen, and she has the most beautiful spirit. Up until this past spring, she was unable to walk She used to scoot on her fanny across the floor wearing out the bottoms of all her pants.

Daphne, my Maid of Honor’s Daughter is afflicted with CP (cerebral palsy)/. If you knew her, however, you would understand that she doesn’t consider herself afflicted at all.

Then there’s my bride’s Maid, Lorraine. She is a Nurse in a hospital that treats childhood cancer. She has dedicated her life in the service of others.

My Maid of Honor is totally blind. She lost her ability to see with her eyes 5 years ago because of a brain tumor. How she copes with that situation like she does is a mystery to me.

Let me tell you about my best friend La Donna; she is one of the most beautiful people I know.
Despite my pleading, I couldn’t convince her to “be ‘in’ my bridal gang”. It’s funny, because the one person, who didn’t want to dress up and parade around with me, is the person who helped me the most throughout the entire day.

When La Donna was ten, her abusive dad told her she was ugly, as he poured acid on her face and body. She now has terrible scars that no surgery can fix. Let me say, whether she realized it or not, she WAS in my bridal gang, and I love her dearly.

So, as you now see, my bridal party consisted of 4 people in my life who taught me some important things.
1. I don’t take my life for granted.
2. What’s on the outside of a person doesn’t matter as much as what’s on the inside.
3. Beautiful spirits are all around us, and we don’t have to look hard to see them. Sadly, you can usually find the beautiful spirits by looking where most others are not.

Wedding Cake Surprise

This letter is from James Talbot of Plain Dealing, Louisiana.

First of all, this isn’t what you think. Well this is not “only” what you think. Yes, we did the wedding cake mouth-stuffing that most newlyweds do, but I’m talking about another kind of “surprise”.

When I crammed the piece of cake into my bride’s mouth, she discovered something was in her serving. It turned out being a lottery ticket.

There was no way this ticket was legit. Surely nothing could come of it, right? Let me tell you, that ticket won 4.4 million dollars!

I was like, “Let’s go party!”

My wife was like, “That money isn’t ours. That ticket belongs to someone else.” Upon hearing this, I shot her an “Are you crazy?“ look. She shot one back that said, “I’ll feel so guilty for the rest of my life if I take this money.”

I gave in. We called the cake company and asked if anyone had complained of losing anything.

Turns out the baker, whose families birthdays he used to choose the numbers had actually lost the thing.

To make a long story short, we gave the baker the ticket back. He have us a reward of $250.000. It was party time after all.

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The Wedding Shack

The following was sent in from Mildred Middleton of Bluff Mills, Utah.

My husband and I were married in 1949. He had just returned from the Pacific Coast after his stint in the Navy. I met him 12 years earlier in high school and knew at once that I loved him.

We didn’t have a lot of money so we had to make due.
It was my idea to marry in a long abandoned church house. The door was hanging off the hinges, the roof was in poor shape, and the floor was dusty and creaky.

Despite the building’s poor shape, I thought marrying in the same exact place as my great grandmother was wonderful.

When I look back now, I know we made the right decision to have our ceremony there. This situation is testament to the fact that the cost of a marriage doesn’t matter as much as the love that creates the bond between a man and a woman.

We were married in the most rundown of places, yet our marriage endured for 50 years when I lost my beloved Albert.

Don’t ever pass up an opportunity to brighten your life with loving gestures.

Yellow Wedding Shoes to the Rescue

This letter came to us from Janet Mason of Deer Park, NY.
Like every girl, I wanted my wedding to be perfect. I wanted every detail planned out, and I wanted the plan followed to the letter. Well, everything did not go as planned, and you know what? Everything turned out just fine.

You see, the night before my wedding, my girl friends threw me a party across town in a hotel.

The next morning, we all woke late and were rushed. We went back to my house, and hurriedly got dressed. I left my running shoes on and planned to change them at the church, but when we got to the church, they could not be found.

What was I supposed to do? I paid $400.00 for them because they perfectly matched my dress and the wedding décor of the church and reception area.

Well, there was my friend Lisa. She also spent a small fortune on shoes to match but hers were yellow, and mine were white. She offered to let me wear hers, and I gratefully accepted.

Lisa had to wear my running shoes at my wedding. It’s funny because she later told me how comfortable her feet were that entire afternoon.

She’s a great friend, and I learned that all is well that ends well, even if it is not according to plan.

A Runaway Bus to Matrimony

The following story submitted by Jeff Dunn of Rome, NY.

 I was in fourth grade when I met Penny. I watched as she boarded school bus 32 and found a spot to sit; right next to me. That is when and where our relationship started. She was so nice, and pretty.

So, I didn’t object when Penny suggested we get married on a school bus. I did have my reservations, however, when she suggested we be married as the bus traversed the same route it took 20 years earlier when we were in fourth grade. To make matters even more interesting, she suggested we find that same bus to do it on.

My first words after hearing this were, “are you insane?” She wasn’t amused. In fact, she started crying saying how I didn’t value our past.

The guilt trip worked. I called a friend of mine on the County School Board who did the leg work on finding the bus.

It was on the back lot of the town bus garage, and hadn’t been driven in 14 years.

I spoke with the Superintendant who agreed that if I paid for whatever parts the bus needed out of my own pocket, he’d allow us to use it for our wedding.

To make a long story short, we were rumbling down RTE 365 just east of Rome when the Priest pronounced us man and wife. Immediately, we knew something was wrong.

The Priest was the only one standing. He was beside the driver, and the driver yelled to him to “sit down!” And he did. The next thing we heard was the driver saying, “The brakes are out , so is the clutch and I can’t get the transmission back into gear.”

We had just crested Vickerman’s hill, and a huge 2 mile descent sprawled ahead. Suddenly it was like we were on a voyage to the center of the earth. To make matters worse, at the bottom of the hill was a sharp curve to the right. A sign warned, “Dangerous curve 15 mph”.

The bus gained speed. The needle on the speedometer read 85 as we shot down the hill passing the halfway mile marker. My new bride and I hung on for dear life as the driver yelled back “90 mph!”

I heard my Penny praying, “Jesus please help us…” Then suddenly, we all heard what sounded like tires popping. And that’s what it was. The tires were all coming apart and yes, they were deflating with sudden loud bursts.

This was a good thing because, strangely enough, the same number of tires on each side of the bus went down and the river was able to maintain control as the bus began to slow suddenly.

The tires forced the bus to come to a stop just feed from the final curve warning sign.

What a wedding this was. I’ll for ever hold the times spent on this bus close to my heart now! Yes, now those grade school rides with Penny will be cherished by me, as well as her. At least those rides were safe rides!
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We thank Jeff Dunn for that story and invite your story.  It doesn't have to be as dramatic as this, we just want to hear from you.  Tell us about your story or tell us about your spouse.  We'll publish your wedding stories here!.

A Twister Toast

This story came to us from Mary Hibbon, of Onalaska, TX..

Mary writes:

We had a blasted tornado on the day of our wedding. Mark and I knew the weather was turning bad right after the ceremony because we heard the tornado siren suddenly start whaling . This was immediately after the preacher pronounced us husband and wife.

One of the guests opened the front door, then yelled back to us, “There’s a tornado!”

The preacher took action and herded everyone to the storm cellar. It was cramped and dark in there, and my dress seemed to become a magnet to dirt.

Mark kept reassuring me that everything was going to be alright, but I lost my brother in a tornado 15 years earlier so I was scared.

The storm came. It seemed to hover overhead for an impossibly long time, but soon enough, it eased… then was gone.

The twister didn’t do much damage; a shingle dislodged here and there so we went on with the day’s celebration.

A couple hours later, at the reception, the best man made a toast. He said, “It’s not everyday we get to actually witness a man’s love for his wife in such trying circumstances. So here’s to the bride and groom. A Groom who stood by his bride reassuring and comforting when he, himself, was shaking in his shoes.” Everyone laughed at that. He went on, “…so here’s a toast to a long and loving life. Here’s a twister toast to the Bride and Groom.”

The Looks

Peter Jones, of Fruitland Park, Florida sent us this story. I decided to call it, “The Looks”. Hopefully, you will understand why.

Peter wrote:

It was the end of Spring when Michelle and I were married. That said, our wedding day turned out to be a beauty. The birds were singing, the breeze had lost all it’s younger season’s chill. That was good because we were going to have an outside wedding.

Both of us are dog owners. She owned a little “ankle-biter”, while I owned a 50 pound Black Lab. A month before the wedding, I thought Michelle was kidding when she suggested we let our dogs be “in the wedding”. So I didn’t think much of it untill I heard her speaking to the planner about a dress for her Me-me, and a tux for my Bruno.

When I heard this, I shot Michelle my “are-you-crazy?” look. She shot a look back that said, “I am. Get used to it.”

So our wedding day comes along. All 4 of us, including the Reverend and the best man, were standing on the trestle of a bridge that spanned a beautiful brook. It was serenely sparkling in the sunlight as gently flowing water made its way over, around and between stones of varying sizes.

We had our respective pooches on leashes looped around our wrists and we came to the part of the service when I take the ring from my best man. As I reached for it, Me-me spotted a frolicking squirrel at the base of a nearby tree, causing her to bolt! She took off like a shot. Fortunately, her leash slipped easily from Michelle’s wrist.

Bruno, on the other hand, wasn’t going to be left standing at the alter (so to speak). He took off like a shot too! His departure was somewhat more disruptive than Me-me’s was. He bolted between the Rev. and I, yanking me off balance. I was pulled along till we reached the bottom of the bridge where my foot caught the edge of a loose plank and I fell. I didn’t just fall mind you, I tumbled… right into the brook.

After I picked up my wounded pride, after we were married, we were at the reception celebrating our union when my Mother-in-law came up to my wife and I to, again, wish us well. I was standing ther nodding as Michelle’s mom asked us if we liked the reception. She then asked Michelle what I was thinking bringing those dogs.

Before Michelle could answer, I shot her another look, to which she shot one back.

Looking For Your Wedding Pictures

Show your pictures off.  Let us see how beautiful you were in your gown.

Guys, let's see how you were all that in your tux!

Tell us a little about yourself, and the thing you remember most about your wedding day.

e-mail them to taverned@hotmail.com

Cold Wedding - Wind Breaking

Cinthia Brooks wrote… Our wedding was outside, in November. We thought that since we live in the South, that it would be fine.

Well, It wasn’t. We were at a Lake Part. We had a pavilion that had no enclosed area. The wind was whipping about 15 mph and it was in the 50’s. We were cold. My husband’s boss was there. He had some rolls of plastic that we quickly used to erect a make-shift windbreak.

If it weren’t for that, I fear we would not have been able to speak our vows. Ha ha ha! It certainly was a day to remember.
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Do you have a story to tell?  Use the comment link and tell me about it.  I'll post it, and if you have a picture to go with your story; e-mail it with the story to  taverned@hotmail.com.

Maybe you have suggestions on how people can save money on their wedding costs.  If you send me those, I'll share them right here on this site. 

Flower Girl Blues was Bride's Comedy

Story submitted by Joyce Branton of Cedar Park, MI


My soon-to-be husband was standing there at the alter waiting for me to walk down the isle. The wedding was outside, and the wind was blowing pretty stongly. As I approached the carpet I was supposed to walk on, the wind flipped up the corner, tripping me.

I fell forward landing on my flower girl. The flower basket she was carrying flew in the air and landed perfectly on my soon-to-be mother-in-law’s head. The flower girl was fine, but I wasn’t . Seeing the basket on my in-laws head had me laughing so heard, I couldn’t stop.

Anyway, she quickly removed the basket replacing as many flowers in it as possible.

She handed it to Trina, the flower girl. The rest of the wedding went on as planned.

Wedding Stories

Weddings are such wonderful occasions. It is with great joy that 2 families gather together in the sight of holy matrimony to witness 2 people joining in BONDAGE.

Other than your own wedding, do you have a favorite wedding story to share? If so, share it here. I’ll post all relevant and clean comments.

I think that's what I'm going to dedicate this blog to.  So, use the comment button below this post.  Thanks