My future wife, Janie, and I were looking forward to our Saturday evening wedding at The Plantation House in Jackson, Mississippi. So, in anticipation of the event, we decided to sneak away to one of the local Mexican Restaurants for some lunch to talk about our honeymoon plans and decompress from some of the stress that comes with such occasions.
Since the quantity of food served at this eatery is so huge, we decided to split a huge beef and bean burrito. It was very tasty, but took us most of an hour to finish it off.
An hour later, we returned to our wedding preparations. I went to my brother’s house; Janie to her sister’s house.
Three hours after that, I was standing at the end of the isle, in front of the Preacher waiting for Janie to walk down the isle escorted by her dad.
As I was standing there, I began to feel pressure in my belly. I knew from this familiar feeling that a crisis was developing.
As I stood there wondering how long it would be before Janie came down the isle, a strong bubble of pressure tried to escape, but I clamped down hard, squeezing as hard as I could.
I could tell the Preacher noticed I was looking uneasy because he looked at me inquisitively.
I scowled; concentrating on avoiding any loud noises, and finally decided to try decompressing slowly and silently.
About this time, the organ started playing the-bride’s-coming-music, so I was relieved thinking I had a better chance of letting one loose without incident. So, I tried to time it just right. The music played, “Here comes the bride, here comes the bride”, I slowly started to let off pressure.. And it felt so good to relax that I actually relaxed too much; too fast.
Apparently, Janie was doing the same thing. Almost in unison we both let loose with a long-loud sound that might be spelled something like, “SSSSAAAARRRBARPAPARRRGH!
There was an audible gasp from the guests, and the bride music slowed (almost to a stop) before it picked up again. I looked back at Janie, thinking of that burrito and busted out laughing. By then, she was laughing too, along with everyone else who soon joined in.
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